Three Cars That Shouldn’t Exist — But Absolutely Do
Obscure Auto Barn’s Greatest Hits (and Misses)
Welcome back to Obscure Auto Barn, where horsepower meets poor judgment and every build is either genius or deeply cursed. This week, we’re going behind the scenes of three of our most notorious Instagram features — vehicles so wild they defy explanation, reason, and resale value.
1. The Honda Element Rally Monster
Codename: “Crate Hauler R”
Someone looked at a Honda Element and thought, “Let’s make this a rally car.” Not just a rally-inspired daily driver, but a full-blown off-road menace. And so, the Element Rally Monster was born — lifted, armored, and running on rage and questionable decisions.
And before you ask — yes, it’s been proven in competition. Some highlights from its truly absurd rally résumé:
- 🔥 Survived a 72-hour desert endurance race in Kazakhstan without a water pump. The driver stayed hydrated via IV.
- 🏔️ Set an unofficial hill climb record on a Peruvian mining road — while carrying a spare engine.
- 🚁 Was once air-dropped into a Mongolian riverbed due to a GPS “disagreement.”
- 🏁 Beat a Subaru WRX and a donkey cart in the same rally stage.
- 📸 Appeared on the cover of Off-Road Shapes Monthly — twice.
This Element is equal parts rally car and utility vehicle, like if a Civic and a Land Rover had a weird, boxy child who grew up feral.
2. The Nissan Altima F1 Car
Codename: “Altima GP: Fastest at the Funeral”
There’s fast, and then there’s Altima-fast. The kind of fast that doesn't obey traffic laws, social contracts, or logic. Take one Nissan Altima, add a fake F1 body kit, a wing bigger than its dreams, and vinyl sponsors from imaginary cryptocurrency companies — and you get the Altima GP.
This isn’t just a meme. It’s a fully delusional track weapon, tuned for speed... if only in spirit. Consider the following:
- Drives like every Altima you’ve ever been cut off by — only now it has downforce and telemetry.
- Never be late to your nail appointment again.
- Passes on the shoulder. Merges from the sidewalk. Probably violates Monaco’s traffic laws just by existing.
Ideal for:
- Illegal time attacks on surface streets
- Outrunning regrets
- Assertive grocery runs
It’s got the heart of a rental car, the soul of a Red Bull RB20, and the ego of a McLaren driver on TikTok. Is it fast? Not really. Is it awesome? Undeniably.
3. The Rolls-Royce Chrysler LeBaron
Codename: “The Reverse Glow-Up”
You’ve seen the trend — people slapping Rolls-Royce grilles on Chrysler 300s, trying to add $50K in perceived value with $300 in fiberglass. But this… this is different. This is a Rolls-Royce front end retrofitted onto a Chrysler LeBaron convertible, and it asks the question: What if luxury gave up?
Even better? This was a custom build. Not a backyard hack job or an ironic art car. This rolling enigma was commissioned — custom ordered by a man in Newark, New Jersey, who apparently looked at the luxury landscape of the 1980s and thought, “You know what would really stand out? A LeBaron… but make it British.”
And so, some shop (possibly under duress) was paid actual U.S. currency to graft a Rolls-Royce grille and bumper onto a front-wheel-drive K-car convertible. The result is the automotive equivalent of wearing a crown with Crocs.
Somehow, it has only 43,000 miles — meaning someone loved it. Or feared it. Or possibly forgot it existed in a garage until now.
FOR SALE: -$250 OBO
Yes, we’ll pay you to take it. Comes with a full tank of gas, a box of tissues, and the dignity you’ll slowly lose driving it.
DM us. Or just show up with a trailer and a sense of humor. Preferably both.
Final Thoughts
We don’t chase concours winners. We collect curiosities, concepts gone wrong, and fever dreams on four wheels. Whether it’s a desert-slaying Honda, a budget GP fantasy, or a faux-Rolls convertible disaster — Obscure Auto Barn is your home for the wonderfully weird.
Follow us for more strange steel, or stop by the lot… just don’t make eye contact with the LeBaron.
